february 12

The Challenge of Communication

I explore aspects of the Self through drawing, sculpture, and performance.  Using the body as a form of measure, my studio practice is focused on how the actions of the body can imply more about the internal monologue.  We often communicate more than what we say through functions of our body.  If one pays attention, one could learn much more about another beyond language.  It is in one’s posture, the color in one’s face, the beat of one’s heart, etc.

Much of what I have been exploring has been this space between longing and alienation.  It's a place of duality because of its tenuous nature that can tip to either fulfillment or isolation.  While these pieces are very much self-exploratory, I am keenly aware that there is much control I relinquish due to a lack of articulation.  These works challenge 'the other' to engage while proving their commitment to do so- and the pay off is an utter honesty that one would not divulge if the commitment was not proven.  

I know it sets up a situation of disappointment most of the time.  I know that I struggle with expressing myself in this way.  I also know that personally, I am far more articulate in my writing than I am speaking.  It's probably my INFJ personality.

But I've really enjoyed studying this about myself within my work.  It is something from my personal relationships that I pass forward to my relationship with the viewer.  In my morse code videos, I wonder if anyone actually takes the time to decode them.  I'm not sure that anyone has- and to me, that is telling, and reinforces all my messed up expectations of feeling rejected, or not being good enough to hear what I have to say.  Talk about all those coming of age insecurities that were never resolved!

Semaphoric Alphabet

So while I explore the morse code pieces further, I recently sent a residency proposal off that uses semaphoric gestures.  You know what that is- it's the waving of flags you see lifeguards at the beach wave to other lifeguards in the distance.  I'm very interested to using the body in these visual gestures to divulge the depths of our thoughts.  Part of my proposal suggests that written word should be performed within a close space, suggesting the distance one must travel emotionally to truly connect with another, even if they might be right next to me.  

I'm semi-concerned with learning the language.  My memory is terrible.  My penchant of learning other languages is terrible!  While I think I can memorize the gestures to a poem, I think if anyone would choose to respond, that it would be difficult to me- fitting, yes?  Because in all reality, I can be overwhelmed by a dialogue and then doesn't that put me back to square one?