The trauma body, arguably also considered an abject body, is created by infinite scenarios and can, therefore, have both intimate/personal and universal understanding. The abject body in this performance was represented by 5 lbs of ash. The weight is significant because it is the weight of the average female body when cremated- or in this case, a "discarded self one wishes to forget." This performance is an act of marking time while holding the abject body, making its presence known, as many victims of trauma experience for years after events occur. In between my shoulders is a place where I have experienced physical trauma and often find emotional trauma manifests physically there. The performance gesture is a slow repetitive process which consists of pinching off ash from my shoulders and placing it on the floor, organized into rows. The ash marks days- 2375 days to be exact- the period of time I experienced emotional and sometimes physical abuse.
Performance developed and documented at Hospitalfield House, Arbroath Scotland; 2018; Duration: 4 hours