EVERY DAY IS THE LAST TIME (A STUDY) Trigger Warning: GRAPHIC. Phases of life begin and end with no real certainty. Those muddy delineations evolve impacting our sense of self but once that awareness solidifies, we realize we have moved through a rite of passage. Women and men's bodies show the rite of passage through bodily changes. In adolescence as a female body curves over and bleeds each month, she has entered unexpectantly entered womanhood. For most, each month is marked with bleeding and time passes along.
I started menstruation like many girls, around 14. Thirteen years ago, I became pregnant and suffered a traumatic miscarriage. I never planned on having children- or at least, it was never a goal of mine but becoming pregnant was special, both terrifying and exhilarating. The loss, devastating.
For years, I continued to mark each month with bleeding, bleeding became worse, causing other issues with my health. Marking my final period before a difficult hysterectomy, I impulsively performed the monthly trauma my body experienced throughout my adulthood. In my final years with a period, a grapefruit-sized fibroid grew into my uterine lining which created tremendous bleeding that eventually contributed to chronic fatigue and anemia.
This is presented as a study. The gesture came fast and the action had to be acted on quickly. It will remain in this state, unresolved. I don’t mind that because ultimately, this phase of my body ended abruptly and is just as unresolved. This is not finalized work but is the final work around this idea… and the potential for new considerations.
Performance Duration: 3 hours
Video Duration: 7:04 minutes
Year: 2020